wrong person, wrong time.
'right person wrong time' doesn't exist and how to get over someone
The night after I yelled at you, I got home, and I burst into tears. I thought they would never end. I could have started a river with my tears for you. I listened to “Casual” by Chappell Roan (three times)—embarrassingly enough. I felt horrible. I think the thing that stung the most was, “I’m not in love with you or anything.” And the thing is, I was in love with you and everything.
You were trying to smooth things over, but it only made it worse, twisted the knife in a bit deeper. You insisted you still meant everything you said, that you didn’t feel the same way about her when you woke up the next day.
I cried because I loved you.
It was never enough for you though. I never told you. Why would I? It would simply be adding fuel to the fire.
You told me that you really liked me, that you seriously wanted to date me. But you didn’t love me. I ignored it. It’s probably a good thing we never quite got there. I think you would have ripped my heart out; it would have still beat for you, though.
If my love for you was water, it would be a tsunami. I think you would have drowned in it. It was a perfectly acceptable thing for you to say you didn’t love me. I didn’t care. I could wait. I could wait forever.
I felt sick when I heard you hooked up with that girl I didn’t like. I acted like I didn’t care. (But God, I did!) It felt cruel. If I gave you head upstairs, would you like me more?
We never did anything like that, which, in a way, makes it hurt more. You held me like I was something fragile, something precious, like someone you could love. I wish I hadn’t been so stupid in thinking so.
There used to be something in your eyes, a glimmer of something beautiful. They shone, and you smiled without your mouth when you looked at me. Maybe I was wrong; perhaps it was something else, or maybe I imagined it.
I can’t sleep lately. I’m clinging to the memory of you. I thought I was over you. But I think it takes a while, it feels painfully slow. (Which fucking sucks, I want it over and done with!)
I replay everything in my mind, tweaking moments, wondering if anything would have been different. Maybe if I said something different, or kissed you when you wanted me too. (It probably wouldn’t have.)
I could have told you how I really felt, but obviously that’s too embarrassing. What’s the fun in that when I could bully you relentlessly instead?
It feels sad writing about you. I don’t want to think about you anymore. I want to tear you out of me. It feels like you’re burnt onto my brain. I think I need a lobotomy maybe.
My friend used to sigh and say, “Maybe in another life.” I used to think that too. If things were different—but that would never be the case. I can’t change the fabric of who you are. I think even if we replayed everything a billion times over, we still wouldn’t end up together. (because unfortunately, you’re an immature idiot)
I could draw your smile with my eyes closed; Loving you felt like breathing, I don’t know why the potential of loving me felt so hard for you?
I don’t think the ‘right person at the wrong time’ exists. I think it’s something we tell ourselves to make it hurt less. But the truth is, they are the wrong person at the wrong time.
That may not always be the case, but it definitely is for now. If you keep holding onto the hope that they'll magically transform into your ideal partner (sorry, but this isn’t a scene from the ‘Before Trilogy’), or if only things had been different—then maybe —well maybe not.
Clinging to those thoughts will only make it harder for you to move on. You'll find yourself remembering how they used to touch you while you're kissing someone new, and that isn’t fair on them.
It didn’t work because it wasn’t supposed to. You may meet in the future and decide to rekindle, that fire may still burn. But don’t be disappointed if they are still not the right person for you. I don’t think love is always easy, but it shouldn’t feel hard and rough like sandpaper. It shouldn’t grind you down.
It should make you alive.
I used to think I’d wait for him forever, counting down the seconds eagerly. But I don’t want to be a dog, waiting patiently at his door. I realised if he wanted to be with me, I wouldn’t have to wait at all.
Because maybe, he was just the wrong person, at the wrong time.
A List to Help You Get Over That Person Who Treated You Horribly!
(especially useful if you didn’t date them):
CRY ABOUT IT, wallow in your misery, curl up into a ball and listen to gut-wrenchingly sad music. (I recommend listening to ‘Searows’)
Write About It. Turn your heartache into something beautiful.
Go on some dates. (When you feel ready, but this one is a temporary fix— a rebound, if you will.)
Seek Closure. It’s okay to want it, but you might not always get it.
Talk about it. Bore your friends and family to death. It helps you process it, and when people look horrified at how they treated you, this will help, too!
Think About How Much of a Loser They Are. (booo)
Remember. Your soulmate would want to date you, but they wouldn’t have been able to give you what you wanted, so essentially, you haven’t lost out on anything!
Allow Yourself Time To Heal, healing it is not linear. (unfortunately, you can’t fast-forward this part as much as you want to.)
Do not text them. I repeat. Do. Not. Text. Them. Do not be friends. (I learnt this the hard way; it creates a painful cycle otherwise.)
Avoid them. This gives you and them more clarity about how badly they fumbled a baddie (their loss, yawn). You deserve way better.
There Are Other Fish. Stop hyper-focusing on that fish. There are plenty of beautiful and interesting fish out there, I promise!
Comfort Food Helps. You will feel empty and sad, but food also helps. Make sure you have a ready supply of comfort foods!
It Was Never a Waste to Love Someone. It just means that you’re a lovely person with a lot of love to give. You just need to be more careful about where you put it. (You and me both.)
Trust the Universe. I think the universe has a plan for everyone; it simply wasn’t meant to be.
It’s Better to Be Alone Than Be in a Shitty Relationship. (Extra Brownie points if they are emotionally immature and selfish.)
You Don’t Want to Mother Someone. (Mine lost his belongings constantly??)
They Do Not Care as Much. If they did, they wouldn’t have been so careless with your heart. This is a very hard pill to swallow, but the more you think about it, the easier it becomes to not care as much. (Coming from someone who always cares way too much!)
Think About It Objectively. Let’s be real for a second: if your friend went through what you did, you would probably be plotting his demise (just kidding... sort of).
You Were Probably The More Emotionally Intelligent One. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to be with someone who has the emotional maturity of a wet sponge.
You are allowed to still care about them. If they were a big part of your life, or a good friend you will still care. But you need to put boundaries in place, to avoid lines being blurred.
They Will Realise One Day. Maybe a few weeks from now, or years later, or even when they're old and grey, drooling in an armchair, they will think of you and finally understand how badly they messed up. (Just a little confidence boost for you, but remember: do not take them back.)
Keep Busy. See your friends pursue your hobbies; the world may feel like it’s stopped spinning. But it will still spin, and you will still live to see another day.
(This is advice explicitly for someone who has treated you badly; it may not always apply; this is a rough guide and is very dependent on context.)
Good luck and lots of love <3
˚✧₊⁎⁺ ☆˚✧₊⁎⁺༚☆˚✧₊⁎⁺ ☆˚✧₊⁎⁺༚☆˚✧₊⁎⁺
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this is a special post and I loved it. I’m going through a weird and complicated relationship thing, and although not everything here applied to me, I still felt it deep in my bones!!
i love this so much